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''This is a virtual pet.
Like those small hand-held Tamagrouchies that seem to be all the rage
(for some unfathomable reason known only to God and parents who
have lost the ability to say NO to a child).
You get to take care of this virtual pet (yippee).
Hopefully it doesn't produce any fake excrement on your screen.
Or maybe that would be it's sole redeeming quality.''