Mostly an original translation. Picked up one of the many edited releases as a starting point (lost track of which one and I can't for the life of me find it again) which sadly means this is timed on the MX raw.
I had to take... liberties on many puns.
Feedback appreciated on the TL level.
DDL:
http://puu.sh/h3lha/e15372bd8f.assInformation:No information.